Remember when we were kids, and everyone would always ask “what do you want to be when you get older?”. I always claimed I wanted to be a vet, but I knew that wasn’t true.
Truthfully, there wasn’t anything I aspired to be. I never thought of the future, never made a plan. How could I think about the future when I was living just to get through the day? I was always full of anxiety due to school and my home life. I just wanted to be done.
I never considered what came after though. I accepted I wouldn’t get into college with my grades, but still never thought about what to do with my life. Always saying I’d worry about things as I needed to. Now I’m 38 and a mom, and for once I care about the future. I care to be here, my family has given me purpose, but I still don’t feel like I have purpose of my own.
I have a full time job but its not necessarily work I love. Its just a way to pay the bills. I’m thankful to even have work, but I feel like i need to be reaching for more. I spent the first half of my life just surviving, I don’t want to do that for the next half.
Maybe I should take a class or something.
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